It scares me to know that my time on earth is limited.
In light of the 2 recent tragedies involving people my age, i guess a few things have hit home. Last tuesday, a guy in my year at barker committed suicide. He'd been depressed for a long time, and apparently it wasn't a decision he would have made in the heat of the moment, according to his friends. Then, today, the body of David Iredale was discovered in the blue mountains. I hung out with 2 of my good friends today, both of whom were good mates with dave- they go to grammar, like dave did. They've taken it pretty hard.
I think there are 2 or 3 main things that i've really realised.
I'm not going to be around forever. We always have people telling us that there will be people in our year who'll die before school's out, before they're 21, before they were supposed to. We never think it's gonna be us.
And, even if it isn't us, who's to say it won't be someone we know?
When i look at the last thing i said to some people, or the way i acted last time i was around them, i guess i have some regrets. Is that the thing i want to be remembered by? Is what i said reflective of how i feel about that person? Maybe i should have gone out of my way to befriend that new kid at school with no friends. Maybe i should have gone on impulse and struck up a good convo with the girl who has a locker next to mine. Maybe i should treat people the way I would want to be treated, not how i feel like at the time. Maybe i should be more aware that just cos i might be feeling good at one point doesnt mean everyone is, nor does it give me a right to ignore that.
Too often i don't tell people i love them, i don't tell them how much i appreciate them.
Also, i know the barker guy was an athiest, and i'm not sure about david. Have i made enough of an effort to talk to the people i love about my faith? Maybe i should make more of an effort to tell people, that way if something happens to me or them, then i'll have done all i can.
How we treat people is important. What we say to people has more impact that we realise. I was reading "Life of Pi" this morning, and a little section stuck out at me.
"The first time I went to an Indian restaurant in Canada I used me fingers. The waiter looked at me critically and said "Fresh of the boat, are you?" I blanched. My fingers, which a second before had been taste buds savouring the food a little ahead of my mouth, became dirty under his gaze. They froze like criminals in the act..He had no idea how deeply those words wounded me. They were like nails being driven into my flesh. I picked up the knife and fork. I had hardly ever used such instruments. My hands trembled. My sambar lost its taste."
Words have impact.
It's important that we take opportunities to talk to people about what we believe in, too.
So, where to from here? I guess we each just need to do our part in creating ripples in our little worlds- start a chain reaction by actively loving those around us.
Our time on earth may be limited, but we still have the moments in which we may sow seeds that could impact someone's life forever.